NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, copy of signed Teenager Driving Contract, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME: _______________________________________

DATE OF BIRTH: ________________________

HEIGHT: ________   WEIGHT: _________   

HAIR COLOR:  __________  EYE COLOR: _________

BIRTHMARKS: _________________________________

IQ: _________  GPA:  ______________  

SOCIAL SECURITY #:  _________________________

DRIVER'S LICENSE #: _________________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES: __________________

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SCHOOLS ATTENDED: ___________________________

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EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES: _________________

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HOME ADDRESS: _______________________________

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CITY/STATE: _________________________________

___________________________  ZIP: __________

TELEPHONE: _________________________________   

EMAIL: _____________________________________

Do you own a van? ____ A truck with oversized tires? ____

A waterbed? ____ A pickup with a mattress in the back? ____

A pager? _____

Do you have an ear ring, a nose ring, or a belly button ring? ____

A tattoo? ____
(IF YES TO ANY OF the ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES.)

In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you? __________

________________________________________________________

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In 50 words or less, what does DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?

________________________________________________________

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In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

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Church you attend: ________________________________________

How often you attend: _____________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and pastor? ______________

Answer by filing in the blank. Please answer freely. All answers are confidential (that means I won’t tell anyone EVER).

A. If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot would be _____________________

B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my _________________________

C. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ______________________

D. When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is ____________________________

(IF ANSWER to D. BEGINS WITH “T” OR “A”, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY.)

What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________

______________________________________________________

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I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ON THIS APPLICATION IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, ELECTROCUTION AND RED HOT POKERS.

______________________________________
SIGNATURE  (that means your name)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties and carrying violin cases.

(Source unknown)

Singer/Song Writer Jack Kapanka answered a couple more questions for us and gave us some nuggets of advice:

What is one great lesson your daughters have taught you?

Hope - Despite the drudgery of the world around us, my girls enjoy every day.  Their hopes and dreams constantly revitalize me and give me hope for the future of the world.  

Any funny poopy diaper or potty training stories?

No one could have prepared me for the artwork my oldest daughter created on the walls of her bedroom back when she was 1.  Use your imagination to figure out what she used for paint.

Then there was the potty training song my wife would always sing. 

Tinkle Tinkle little wee

How we love to go pee pee

Sitting on the potty seat

Isn’t going pee pee neat

Tinkle Tinkle little wee

How we love to go pee pee

We actually framed it and hung it on the bathroom wall.

What is the craziest thing you did for your little girl after which you seriously questioned your manhood?

Summer and Gabby, my two oldest girls birthdays are just 6 days apart.  We had a sleep over with many of their friends and they wanted to “make up daddy” . Of course I had to do it.  Well, the following morning I stepped out to pick up some breakfast.  It wasn’t till I reached into my wallet that I discovered that I forgot to remove the nail polish.  Yea, that was a bit embarrassing.  Anything for my girls.

How do you keep yourself from having to turn in your ‘MAN’ card being around all these girls?

Besides singing, I’m a pool shooter.  Last year I picked up a table at a  yard sale and I’ve been teaching my older girls how to play.  My wife lets me compete as an alternate in pool league which gets me out every other week or so.

Most exciting experience you ever shared with your daughters for under $25?

Prior to our twins,Lilly and Jack Jr., being born, my family was cast in a Montgomery Gentry Video.  The whole shoot was supposed to take just a few hours.  Due to a major thunder storm, they didn’t start filming until around 2:00am.  We finished around 6:00am.  Staying up the whole night  and hanging out with the guys in the band was such a great experience for my girls.  We huddle around the TV every time we see the video “Some People Change”. 

Worst thing you had to do as a father?

When Gabby, my second oldest , was just two she bumped into a wall in our house and knocked a picture down.  As the picture hit the floor, the corner landed on the top half of her ring finger blowing it completely apart.   She needed reconstructive surgery.  Letting go of her hand as she entered the operating room was one of the most helpless feelings I’ve ever had. 

Best present your received from your little girls?

I love their homemade cards.  Christmas, Birthday, Fathers Day etc…  I’d so much rather have one they’ve made then any thing they could every buy.

Any funny stories or bits and pieces of advice you would like to share?

Make sure you get out and do things with your kids.  For example, this past winter I stood in line with my big girls for 6 hours just so my oldest daughter could Hula Hoop to the Cha Cha Slide at the auditions for America’s Got Talent.  That’s something she’ll remember forever.  And that my friends, makes it all worth it.

What is your favorite beer?

COLD!

What are the top 5 things you wish you knew (tips and tricks) before becoming a father and you would give to a new dad as advice?

5.

Change Diapers - I have to admit, with my first two kids, I was so busy with work and trying to make a living that I missed a lot of the “Parenting” of our big girls.  I was touring quite a bit at the time and when I was home, my wife was taking care of just about everything.  I didn’t understand the “Diaper Connection”.  Now that my wife and I have 7 month old twins, I have plenty of time to correct the error of my ways. 

4.

Enjoy every second - It goes by way to fast.  I never knew how fast life flies by until my kids were born.  The years seem like months, the weeks are like days and the hours are now seconds.  Each one flying by at the speed of life.

3. 

Unconditional Love - I wish I knew how easy it would be to love my kids.  Before becoming a father, I was nervous about how everything was going to fall into place.   There was no reason to worry at all.  It just does.  I quickly discovered that when it comes to my kids, love just is.

Don’t know if you would want to get into the story of She’s Got My Heart.  That song and the story behind it pretty much sum up this answer.

2.

Wing It - I didn’t have a full grasp on the importance of taking things in stride.  Roll with it has become a mantra in our house.  Although we do try to plan our daily schedule we always  leave room for the unexpected.  As my daughters always say, “You get what you get and you don’t mind a bit”.

1.

Change Diapers - Seriously guys.  I can’t tell you how much this will improve your marriage and your relationship with your kids.  You’re wife will LOVE more and more every time you do that dirty deed.  I know it’s helped me to feel much more involved in the role of raising our baby twins.

We asked Jack how he came up with the lyrics for “Angel in my arms” and he replied that he wrote the song before he had girls of his own.  He simply learned by watching the relationship his wife had with her father. 

Here is the rest of the Interview:

Now that you have your own daughters, have the words in the song gained additional meaning to you?  

It’s been an amazing experience to see how vividly the verses of the songs have come to life.  From the way my breath was taken away when I first held each of my girls and my boy, to the excitement of following the school bus on the first day.  I’ve been overwhelmed with how the song comes to life.   I have to admit, I’m thankful that my daughters already know that I’m an emotional guy, because I know I’ll be balling my eyes out at each of their weddings.

You were inspired by your wife’s father and I’m curious, how did her father step up and support her?  

My wife’s mother passed away from cancer when my wife was only 5.  My father in-law did the best that he could to keep everything as “normal” as possible.  I believe the environment he created and the love and respect he showed my wife is what made her the wonderful, caring person she is today.

What were some of the ‘little’ things that meant a lot to her but might have been just a ‘given’ or ‘normal’ to him? 

While working a full time job and taking care of my wife and her older brother and sister, coaching little league and taking care of the house, my father in-law still found the time to attend nearly every sporting event and school activity.  I believe his support is what enabled my wife to become a New Jersey State Champion in Track and Field, Captain of the Track Team, Basketball Team, Soccer Team and graduate at the top of her class.  The example that he set in the formative years of my wife’s life has carried on in the way my wife and I raise our kids.  We’re both so thankful for that. 

His actions were everyday normal “Dad” things for him yet they had a profound impact on my wife.

Did he give her any words or nuggets of wisdom? 

My father in-law is a pretty quiet guy but his actions speak louder than any words ever could.

He would always help others.

My wife often talks about the times she and her father go anywhere in their home town.  There’s always somebody coming up to her Dad and thanking him for coaching or encouraging them in their life. 

His selfishness and love for his daughter, my wife, made it very easy to write Angel In My Arms.

Any particular actions that made an impact on her?   

He made her a priority in his life which validated her importance.  That’s the security that every child deserves to have. 

This is the first part in a two part series including an interview we had with Jack Kapanka Singer and song writer of “Angel in my Arms” a popular Father Daughter wedding song.  He is the proud father of 3 girls and one boy and is certainly knowledgeable about this subject.

Jack himself is the ultimate tough guy and was born blind in Bethlehem, PA. 

At the age of two, he gained sight in his right eye and by age three, he was singing with his family in various churches and half-way houses across the country. At age 21 Jack headed to Orlando Florida to pursue his dream of becoming a stuntman. Fueled by his adventurous spirit and natural athletic ability, he worked an array of jobs from bungy jump-master to professional bicycle free-stylist. At one of these jobs, he was asked to try his hand at writing a commercial jingle. The jingle went Nationwide for “Picway Shoes”. The path to his new future was paved into the music industry.

Jack’s music touches the heart strings of our society as a whole.  Other than his many theme songs, Jack has written  4 National radio cuts (She’s Got My Heart, Angel In My Arms, What They Gave To Me, America Moves By Truck) 2 movie songs (So Right, Play It As It Lies), and 2 National television jingles (Picway Shoes, The Daily Buzz).

He has performed with Lonestar, Brad Paisley, Ty Herndon,  The BackStreet Boys, NSYNC, The Pointer Sisters, Michael Peterson, Boys To Men, Mark Farner (Grand Funk Railroad), Joe Diffie and many more. 

And here is his awesome Father Daughter Wedding song:

Angel In My Arms

By Jack Kapanka

On the day that you were born

A fear came over me

How was I to hold you

What would you grow to be

When I held you in my arms

My fear just went away

And I began to understand

You’d always make me feal that way

You’re an angel in my arms

And how I love you so

Yet I know the day will come

That I’ll have to let you go

Until then I’ll hold you gently

With tenderness and care

And let you know your daddy

Forever will be there

When you were 5 and off to school

With pigtails in your hair

I wanted to go with you

Or somehow just be there

As I walked you to the corner

To help you on your way

You turned around to hug me

This is all that I could

You’re an angel in my arms

And how I love you so

Yet I know the day will come

That I’ll have to let you go

Until then I’ll hold you gently

With tenderness and care

And let you know your daddy

Forever will be there

There were times that we were best friends

And times we grew apart

But never was there one time

That you weren’t in my heart

Now all at once

The time has come

Your wedding day is here

Your mom and I are so proud

Yet still I shed a tear

As we step upon the dance floor

And I look into your eyes

I can see you truely love him

And I begin to realize

You’ll be an angel in his arms

And how he’ll love you so

Now at last the time has come

That I must let you go

Till this song ends I’ll hold you gently

With tenderness and care

And let you know your daddy

Forever will be there

(Daughter to Father)

You’re an angel in my arms

And how I love you so

Yet dad the day has come

That you must let me go

Till this song ends please hold me gently

With tenderness and care

And I’ll let you know your daughter

Forever will be the

In my heart I know my angel

Forever will be there

To buy a Jack Kapanka CD please go to www.jackkapanka.com or write Jack at Jack@JackKapanka.com

visit www.youtube.com/jackkapanka to see videos for several of Jacks other songs.

Here is a * free * (donations accepted) program that comes in handy when you want to give your little one a chance to hammer around on your computer without having the ability to break anything (software wise).

Programmer and Dad Scott Hanselman wrote this program to let his 2 year and 5 month old play on his PC. 

As babies smash on the keyboard, colored shapes, letters and numbers appear on the screen. Baby Smash will lock out the Windows Key, as well as Ctrl-Esc and Alt-Tab so your baby can’t get out of the application. Pressing ALT-F4 will exit the application and Shift-Ctrl-Alt-O brings up the options dialog.

Click on the picture to download:

Here is a little girl who is obviously raised right by her Daddy!

This is worth watching… Dad’s a pretty cool guy…

It is because of our Men and Women in uniform that we can enjoy this day in freedom.

As a friend of mine who retired from the Marines told me this morning: 

“All those people bitching about spending $3.89 a gallon on gas while going out of town for the weekend, should sit their asses down one minute and think what this day really is about!”.

On that note I would like to honor all the fathers in the military that have daughters they are leaving at home!

Okay, here is a story from Long Island courtesy of AP New York:

FARMINGDALE, N.Y. (AP) _ A man and his young daughter were trapped in a Long Island amusement ride for about 20 minutes before they were rescued by the fire department.

Officials say the two were in a virtual-reality flight simulator at Fun Zone Amusements in Farmingdale.

Both father and daughter were trapped either upside down or in a reclining position. The girl was agitated, but no one was hurt in the Monday incident. Officials say the girl is 12 or younger.

Manager Glenn Taus says the fire department was called in as a precaution but everyone was all right.

–

Excuse me please but if I’m hanging upside down in a amusement ride upside down for 20 freaking minutes I’ll be a little ‘agitated’ too.  I might even punch the guy that is responsible for this mess.  But thanks for throwing that ‘agitated’ bit into the story and making those people look like assholes.

Go figure…

By Tom Lutzenberg

A friend of mine told me the other day that there was something worse than just dirty diapers.

Personally, I thought baby dirty diapers were pretty bad to begin with. And I’m not referring to the pee‐pee version. I’m talking about the ones that look like a transposition of the special effects team samples from Revenge of the Blob Slime.

As a father I’ve already seen some very nasty bio‐hazard spills, and I didn’t think there was much that could top that. What was even more shocking was that my daughter could produce something that revolting in the first place.

But my buddy was pretty adamant: nothing is worse than when your toddler daughter is being potty‐trained and poops in her underwear instead of a diaper.

First off I need to backtrack. In the modern age of climate change and being “green,” there’s a lot of proponents for recycling and reusing almost everything, including diapers. However, for us men, there’s no such thing as recycling diapers, period. You poop in the thing and it gets thrown away. That’s just off‐limits for re‐use in our minds. The concept of a re‐usable diaper was a bad curse created by a woman somewhere who figured she could always get her husband to wash the darn things, so no dirty work on her part, it was all conceptual. When diapers were finally invented (with the same water absorbing gel they use as fire retardant, didn’t you know) they were a godsend to men everywhere. The only hard work left was the cleanup of the baby bottom.

But of course your girls grow and become toddlers and it’s time to get out of diapers. Says who?

Well your wife of course, and thus begins the process of the dirty underwear. Ever tried to get crap out of cloth material? It’s horrible and the smell makes you want to throw‐up. Remember that special poop babies are supposed to get rid of after first being born? What did they call it? Myconeum or something similar? It’s like dealing with that stuff all over again. Oily, sticky, and this time royally stinky.

You would think someone would be smart enough to invent disposable underwear for toddlers, but I don’t think modern society is ready to go there. Something about kids never learning to get away from diapers would probably be the end result.

My daughter, on the other hand, thinks potty‐training is the funniest thing ever. Her little potty pot makes a great place to hide toys. And she likes to say she went “poo‐poo” when she didn’t, just because it gets a reaction out of us.

Then of course she won’t tell us when she really did have a bowel movement, stinking up the house room she happens to be in at the time.

Even the cat runs out of the room at the first smell of it.

What makes it worse is when I tell my daughter it’s time to change her diaper, and she runs away. All that leg‐flapping just acts like a repetitive air bellow, stinking up every room she runs through.

It takes about four hours for it to all dissipate. I once tried using the oven fan to clear the smell, but my wife just made a face at me.

I suspect at some point we will be successful with potty‐training. Hopefully in time before my daughter starts dating at 16. And I know I’ll have fun reminding her of all those wonderful bowel moments when she’s a teenager in front of her friends.

But for now it’s just, “DADDY, POO POO!”